


Black Eagles Groupchat

by fictrashdotcom



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Humor, M/M, Texting, Well hopefully, ferdinand and dorothea are basically best friends cos thats my headcanon i guess, ill add tags later probably, the relationships arent there from the start btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:31:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20488937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictrashdotcom/pseuds/fictrashdotcom
Summary: [ Modern AU centered around the Black Eagles at uni ]PrettyBitch:FERDINAND U MOTHERFUCKERPrettyBitch:GIVE BACK THE MILKurlocalshortboi:woah okedel_gard:Dorothea did you make this chat just to yell about milk?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Character Usernames:
> 
> ** Edelgard ** \- edel_gard  
** Ferdinand ** \- i.am.ferdinand  
** Caspar ** \- urlocalshortboi  
** Linhardt ** \- let.me.sleep  
** Petra ** \- PetraMacneary  
** Dorothea ** \- PrettyBitch  
** Bernadetta ** \- _bernie_

**\- ** ** _PrettyBitch_ ** ** created ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** and added 6 other members -**

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 4:12pm -**

**PrettyBitch:** ferdinand ik it was u who took the milk from our fridge

**edel_gard: **ummmm…??

**edel_gard: **what is this?

**PrettyBitch:** oh welcome to the groupchat everyone

**PetraMacneary: **Hello! 

**PrettyBitch:** I figured we needed one 

**i.am.ferdinand: **because…?

**PrettyBitch:** FERDINAND U MOTHERFUCKER 

**PrettyBitch:** GIVE BACK THE MILK

**urlocalshortboi:** woah ok

**edel_gard: **Dorothea did you make this chat just to yell about milk?

**PrettyBitch: **no!!! I made it so we’d talk more

**urlocalshortboi:** riiiiiiight

**PrettyBitch**: it just so happened that the stolen milk needed to be addressed too

**i.am.ferdinand: **I did NOT steal the milk!

**PrettyBitch**: oh yeah? so why did bernie see u in our kitchen earlier taking it? hmmm?????

**_bernie_: **please don't bring me into this

**PrettyBitch:** sorry bernie ur a key witness

**i.am.ferdinand: **well prove I was there then 

**i.am.ferdinand: **give me some physical evidence

**PetraMacneary: **Ferdinand this is not a court case.

**PrettyBitch**: oh ferdie u want evidence?

**PrettyBitch**: how’s this then 

**PrettyBitch** : _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: **ahahahahahaha

**let.me.sleep: **thanks for ruining my afternoon nap with notifications guys 

**PrettyBitch:** ur welcome 

**urlocalshortboi: **hey Lin!

**let.me.sleep: **hi.

**PrettyBitch:** so, milk thief.

**PrettyBitch:** there’s the evidence

**PrettyBitch: **a photo that clearly shows YOU taking our semi skimmed milk

**urlocalshortboi: **semi skimmed??? 

**urlocalshortboi: **dude if ur gonna steal at least take the full fat milk

**let.me.sleep: **I must say I agree

**edel_gard: **full fat is the superior milk

**PrettyBitch: ** ferdinand r u even there

**PrettyBitch:** we’re attacking ur milk choices NOW ANSWER

**edel_gard: **I think he’s gone

**let.me.sleep: **it says he hasn’t read any of the messages since Dorothea sent that photo

**PrettyBitch: **that’s it I’m gonna spam him with messages

**PrettyBitch: **I NEED to know why he took the milk

**PetraMacneary: **Is that truly a necessity?

**PrettyBitch: **YES.

**\- ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **to** ** _ i.am.ferdinand_ ** ** @ 4:22pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief 

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**PrettyBitch: **milk thief

**i.am.ferdinand: **for gods sake Dorothea just leave me alone!

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes I stole the milk

**i.am.ferdinand: **now move on

**PrettyBitch: **oh

**PrettyBitch:** well thank you for confessing to your terrible crime

**PrettyBitch: **but why did u take it?

**i.am.ferdinand: **we ran out

**PrettyBitch:** ok yeah so u could’ve just bought some

**i.am.ferdinand: **I know but

**i.am.ferdinand: **ugh this is so stupid

**PrettyBitch: **I’m getting the feeling it wasn’t just about the milk 

**PrettyBitch: **wow that’s the dumbest sentence I’ve ever typed

**PrettyBitch: **but seriously what’s up

**PrettyBitch: **normally ur ok with my mean jokes at u

**i.am.ferdinand: **it’s just

**i.am.ferdinand: **ugh

**i.am.ferdinand: **ok I’ll tell you but only if you promise not to make fun of me

**PrettyBitch: **of course I promise! joke time over. 

**i.am.ferdinand: **alright 

**i.am.ferdinand:** so we ran out of milk 

**i.am.ferdinand: **but I was kinda desperate because I had a

**i.am.ferdinand: **I had a guest over 

**PrettyBitch: **…a ‘guest’ you say…?

**i.am.ferdinand: **don’t 

**PrettyBitch: **sorry

**i.am.ferdinand: **I needed milk for their coffee

**i.am.ferdinand: **and I didn’t realise we had no milk left 

**i.am.ferdinand: **so when I opened the fridge and realised there wasn’t any, I freaked out a little 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I didn’t want to keep them waiting 

**i.am.ferdinand: **and it was already awkward enough

**i.am.ferdinand:** so I just said I’d be right back and I went to your dorm since it’s so close

**i.am.ferdinand: **I couldn’t see anyone there so I just took the milk and left 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I guess Bernadetta was there after all 

**i.am.ferdinand: **so

**i.am.ferdinand: **that’s why I took it

**i.am.ferdinand: **sorry I know that’s the stupidest thing ever 

**PrettyBitch: **oh ferdie 

**PrettyBitch: **it’s fine

**PrettyBitch: **I didn’t really care about the milk in the first place

**PrettyBitch: **just thought it was funny

**PrettyBitch:** but

**PrettyBitch:** and u don’t have to talk about it if u don’t want to

**PrettyBitch: **am I right in thinking that this ‘guest’...

**PrettyBitch: **was someone u were trying to impress?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I guess

**i.am.ferdinand: **yeah

**PrettyBitch:** ...because you’re interested in them?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I don’t know what you mean

**PrettyBitch: **ferdinand.

**i.am.ferdinand: **...

**i.am.ferdinand: **ok 

**i.am.ferdinand: **fine

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes you’re right

**PrettyBitch: **…!

**i.am.ferdinand: **please don’t 

**PrettyBitch: **!!!!!

**i.am.ferdinand: ** please don’t 

**PrettyBitch: **ferdie!!!!!!

**i.am.ferdinand:** please don’t 

**PrettyBitch: **ohhhh come on!! 

**PrettyBitch: **who’s the lucky girl?????

**i.am.ferdinand: **no. 

**PrettyBitch: **hm I don’t know anyone by that name

**i.am.ferdinand: **ha. ha.

**PrettyBitch: **pleeeeeeease tell me

**i.am.ferdinand:** no way. 

**PrettyBitch: **why not? :(

**PrettyBitch: **u should know by now that I’m a fabulous secret keeper

**i.am.ferdinand: **I don’t want to talk about it

**PrettyBitch: **well maybe not today

**PrettyBitch:** but perhaps you’ll tell me tomorrow?

**i.am.ferdinand: **…

**PrettyBitch:** that’s a yes?

**i.am.ferdinand: **no!

**PrettyBitch: **ferdieeeeee

**PrettyBitch: **u know it’ll kill me not knowing

**i.am.ferdinand: **I know

**PrettyBitch: **so pls tell me? :)

**i.am.ferdinand: **ok fine

**i.am.ferdinand: **just not now

**PrettyBitch: **yay! 

**PrettyBitch: **tell me whenever ur ready ferdie

**PrettyBitch: **preferably by the end of this week

**i.am.ferdinand: **maybe

**i.am.ferdinand: **but just don’t bring it up when I next see you ok?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I much prefer messaging you 

**PrettyBitch: **ok I get that

**PrettyBitch: **tell me via text when u feel less awkward about it

**i.am.ferdinand: **I never said I felt awkward about it!

**PrettyBitch: **ferdie, I can tell.

**i.am.ferdinand: **:\

**PrettyBitch: **anyway

**PrettyBitch:** come back to the groupchat now?

**i.am.ferdinand: **ok

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 4:37pm -**

**PrettyBitch:** milk crisis over guys 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’m glad to announce I won’t be going to jail

**edel_gard: **good to hear

**let.me.sleep: **does that mean I can sleep now

**PrettyBitch: **no

**urlocalshortboi: **Lin you can just mute the chat

**let.me.sleep: **mkay ty

**PrettyBitch:** so anyway

**PrettyBitch:** I just looked at my schedule and realised I have film studies tomoz 

**PrettyBitch:** and surprise surprise I haven’t finished the assignment 

**edel_gard: **you want to copy mine don’t you

**PrettyBitch:** :)

**edel_gard: **I’ve got it in my bag so you’ll have to wait til I get back 

**PrettyBitch: **ur out shopping right?

**edel_gard: **yes

**edel_gard: **got some cute decor for the dorm 

**PrettyBitch: **ooh

**_bernie_: **dorotheadorotheadorothea

**_bernie_: **areyouinthecommonroom

**PrettyBitch: **oh hey bernie 

**PrettyBitch: **no I’m not 

**PrettyBitch: **why?

**_bernie_: **THEN WHO IS????????!!??!

**_bernie_: ** _ [sent an image] _

**PrettyBitch: **bernie sweetie that’s a pitch black photo so I can’t see shit

**_bernie_: **WELLTHERES SOMEONEE ONTHESOFA!!!!?!!!!

**PrettyBitch: **there’s no one else in the dorm apart from me and you bernie 

****edel_gard**: **maybe turn the lights on?

**_bernie_: **WHATIFTHERES A PERSON THERE THENWHAT DO I DO

**PrettyBitch: **hang on I’ll come in and see 

**_bernie_: **okkthankyou

**urlocalshortboi: …**

**edel_gard: **and now, we wait.

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 4:49pm -**

**PrettyBitch: ** _ [sent a video] _

** _[Video Starts:]_ **

_ Dorothea (entering the common room): Alright Bernie what’s going on? _

_ Bernadetta (off camera): I s-swear there’s someone there, Dorothea. _

_ (The camera pans as Dorothea looks for Bernadetta.) _

_ Dorothea: Ok, but where the hell are _you?

_ Bernadetta (whispering): H-here… _

_ (Dorothea finds Bernadetta underneath the table.) _

_ Dorothea (under her breath): Fucking hell… _

_ Dorothea: I’m going to turn the main light on. _

_ (She walks across the room and flicks the switch. The room lights up and the camera pans to show the sofa in the middle of the room.) _

_ Dorothea: LINHARDT?! WHAT THE FUCK? _

_ (A small squeal from Bernadetta can be heard in the background.) _

_ Linhardt (yawning): Huh…? _

_ (Dorothea walks round the sofa and zooms in on Linhardt’s face. There’s footsteps in the background and then the camera flicks to show Bernadetta for a moment, who is walking tentatively towards the sofa.) _

_ Dorothea: Bernie I’m sorry for ever doubting you. Evidently, there _ was _ a person in here. _

_ (Dorothea starts laughing hysterically and zooms the camera in on Linhardt again, who’s rubbing his eyes.) _

** _[Video Ends]_ **

**edel_gard:** oh my god what’s he doing at our place

**PrettyBitch:** I’ve sent him back to his dorm

**edel_gard:** banished?

**PrettyBitch:** banished.

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 5:06pm -**

**let.me.sleep: **ok let me explain

**PetraMacneary: **You have made it safely to your dorm?

**let.me.sleep: **well actually I’m at Caspar’s 

**let.me.sleep: **but yes, thank you Petra

**i.am.ferdinand: **Linhardt please answer my messages 

**PrettyBitch:** oh?

**i.am.ferdinand: **no “oh” Dorothea.

**i.am.ferdinand: **this has nothing to do with you.

**PrettyBitch:** ferdie! I’m hurt by your words

**PrettyBitch: **I shall be expecting messages from you later…

**i.am.ferdinand: **fine.

**let.me.sleep: **explanation later then. brb

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **to** ** _ let.me.sleep _ ** **@ 5:08pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’m begging you Linhardt please just make something up

**i.am.ferdinand: **tell them you were so tired that you went into the wrong dorm 

**let.me.sleep: **hey it’s ok

**let.me.sleep: **I wasn’t gonna tell them anyway

**let.me.sleep: **why would I 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I don’t know 

**i.am.ferdinand: **for all I know you could hate me

**i.am.ferdinand: **and would want to tell everyone

**let.me.sleep: **hey you’re alright

**let.me.sleep: **better than most of the people I’ve met here

**i.am.ferdinand: **uh thanks?

**let.me.sleep: **now I’ll go tell the groupchat the explanation 

**let.me.sleep: **and you go talk to Dorothea 

**let.me.sleep: **she’s your closest friend, correct?

**i.am.ferdinand: **yeah, we’ve known each other for a long time now

**let.me.sleep: **so you can trust her

**i.am.ferdinand: **of course I can

**let.me.sleep: **so talk to her, Ferdinand 

**let.me.sleep: **properly.

**i.am.ferdinand: **alright

**i.am.ferdinand: **thank you.

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 5:10pm -**

**let.me.sleep: **ok I’m back

**let.me.sleep: **basically I was tired 

**let.me.sleep: **as usual

**let.me.sleep: **and so I ended up walking into Dorothea & co ‘s dorm thinking it was my own

**edel_gard: **ah

**_bernie_: **I’m just glad you weren’t an intruder!!

**let.me.sleep: **well, my apologies anyway. I’ll try not to do it again.

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **to** ** _ PrettyBitch_ ** ** @ 5:11pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier Dorothea 

**PrettyBitch:** it’s ok ferdie 

**PrettyBitch:** I’m guessing there’s… something going on then?

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes 

**PrettyBitch:** and u wanna talk about it?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I think so

**PrettyBitch:** sooooo…

**PrettyBitch:** what’s up with u and linhardt?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I needed to talk to him separately

**i.am.ferdinand: **because

**i.am.ferdinand: **well

**i.am.ferdinand: **he actually did come back into our dorm first

**i.am.ferdinand: **he didn’t wander into yours by mistake

**i.am.ferdinand: **but

**i.am.ferdinand: **uh

**PrettyBitch: **it’s ok ferdie 

**PrettyBitch:** whatever it is, you can tell me

**i.am.ferdinand: **ok 

**i.am.ferdinand: **here goes

**i.am.ferdinand: **so Linhardt came back after being out for the day 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I don’t know where he’d been 

**i.am.ferdinand: **that’s not important actually

**i.am.ferdinand: **that’s not related to what I need to tell you

**i.am.ferdinand: **um

**i.am.ferdinand: **so he came into our dorm

**i.am.ferdinand: **and 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I was there

**i.am.ferdinand: **well I’m still there 

**i.am.ferdinand: **anyway

**i.am.ferdinand: **um

**i.am.ferdinand:** I was there with someone 

**PrettyBitch:** ferdie is this going where I think it’s going?

**i.am.ferdinand: **um

**PrettyBitch:** this ‘someone’ was the guest from earlier, yes?

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes… it was

**i.am.ferdinand: **so

**i.am.ferdinand: **uh

**PrettyBitch: **and Linhardt saw you…

**i.am.ferdinand: **just um

**i.am.ferdinand: **kissing

**i.am.ferdinand: **on the sofa

**PrettyBitch: **that’s it?

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes

**i.am.ferdinand: **Linhardt saw us then turned back round and left

**i.am.ferdinand: **went to your place I guess

**i.am.ferdinand: **and just fell asleep on your sofa

**PrettyBitch: **hm 

**PrettyBitch: **ok then

**PrettyBitch: **so are u going to tell me?

**i.am.ferdinand: **what?

**PrettyBitch: **who the girl is!

**i.am.ferdinand: **oh um

**i.am.ferdinand: **well

**i.am.ferdinand: **that’s the thing I wasn’t looking forward to talking about 

**i.am.ferdinand: **just

**i.am.ferdinand: **um

**i.am.ferdinand: **Dorothea 

**PrettyBitch: **yeah?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’m gay

**PrettyBitch: **oh

**PrettyBitch: **oh my god 

**PrettyBitch: **holy shit ferdie I’m so sorry I’ve been calling them a girl this whole time

**PrettyBitch: **shitshitshit

**PrettyBitch: **ferdie I love you

**PrettyBitch: **platonically!

**PrettyBitch: **shit

**PrettyBitch: **ferdie?

**i.am.ferdinand: **sorry just crying

**PrettyBitch: **I’m coming to ur dorm right now ferdie 

**PrettyBitch: **I need to hug you.

**PrettyBitch: **wait

**PrettyBitch: **ur ‘guest’

**PrettyBitch: **is he

**i.am.ferdinand: **he left

**i.am.ferdinand: **hugs please 

**PrettyBitch: **on my way <3

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 2:58am -**

**urlocalshortboi: **agxgdkjzlsljz

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent an image] _

_ **urlocalshortboi: ** [sent an image] _

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 9:45am -**

**edel_gard:** ummm Caspar?

**edel_gard:** what on earth were those pictures?

**PrettyBitch: **yeah wtf

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [deleted 5 messages] _

**PetraMacneary: **Caspar, I believe we all saw those images. Deleting them now has little effectiveness.

**PrettyBitch: **I screenshotted them anyway caspar lmao

**PrettyBitch: ** _ [sent an image] _

**PrettyBitch: ** _ [sent an image] _

**PrettyBitch: ** _ [sent an image] _

**PrettyBitch: ** _ [sent an image] _

**i.am.ferdinand: **Dorothea, out here doing the lords work

**PrettyBitch: **naturally

**edel_gard:** guess it’s time to over analyse them then

**edel_gard:** sorry Caspar

**urlocalshortboi: **…

**PrettyBitch: **so that first photo

**PrettyBitch: **honestly just a blurry mess

**PrettyBitch: **but it looks like you?

**i.am.ferdinand: **definitely, that blue hair is unmistakably Caspar

**PrettyBitch: **then the second and third pics

**PrettyBitch: **a blurry caspar again

**PrettyBitch: **...holding something?

**PrettyBitch: **what even is that 

**i.am.ferdinand: **hmm

**edel_gard:** wait a minute

**edel_gard:** I think it’s a bottle 

**i.am.ferdinand: **guys look at the third picture

**i.am.ferdinand: **you can see it better

**i.am.ferdinand: **that label on the bottle…

**PrettyBitch: **OMG

**PrettyBitch: **CASPAR IS THAT A FUCKING VODKA BOTTLE

**urlocalshortboi:** perhaps

**edel_gard:** ok and that last photo

**i.am.ferdinand: **is that your face Caspar? I can’t tell.

**let.me.sleep: **no that’s me

**urlocalshortboi:** oh Lin! I didn’t know you were up

**let.me.sleep: **well I wouldn’t say I’m “up” exactly

**let.me.sleep: **I’m still very much on the floor

**urlocalshortboi: **hang on Lin I’ll bring you some water

**PrettyBitch: **wait r u at caspar’s dorm linhardt?

**let.me.sleep: **ye

**let.me.sleep: **s

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 9:59am -**

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent a video] _

** _[Video Starts:]_ **

_ Caspar (groggily): Heyyyy guys. _

_ (The camera is pointing down at his feet as he walks from his kitchen into his bedroom.) _

_ Caspar: We drank a bit… too much. Last night. Ugh. _

_ (He enters his bedroom and pans the camera up slightly to show Linhardt, who’s lying face down on the floor.) _

_ Caspar: Yo Lin. Water. _

_ (Linhardt rolls over and looks directly at the camera, before addressing Caspar:) _

_ Linhardt: Don’t ever ask me to drink with you again. _

_ (Caspar laughs then starts to cough. The camera shakes.) _

** _[Video Ends]_ **

**_bernie_: **this group chat is too wild

**PrettyBitch: **aw but it’s funny bernie 

**_bernie_: **not really...

**urlocalshortboi: **so I have a shitty hangover 

**let.me.sleep: ** _ [sent a video] _

** _[Video Starts:]_ **

_ Linhardt: We _ both _ have shitty hangovers. _

_ (He coughs.) _

** _[Video Ends]_ **

**PrettyBitch: **gasp linhardt since when do you swear

**edel_gard:** and since when do you drink??

**let.me.sleep: **Caspar is laughing at me now

**urlocalshortboi: **am not

**let.me.sleep: **am too

**PetraMacneary: **I agree with Bernadetta, this group texting is absurd.

**i.am.ferdinand: **hate to bring it up, but I have an english lit lecture at 11

**i.am.ferdinand: **and if I’m not mistaken, Linhardt, you are in my class.

**urlocalshortboi: **aaaaaahahahaaahaha

**let.me.sleep: **hhhhhhhhh

**PetraMacneary: **I advise that you get ready for that Linhardt.

**let.me.sleep: **that requires getting up

**PetraMacneary: **Lectures are important for your education.

**PrettyBitch: **well

**urlocalshortboi: **nonono she’s right

**urlocalshortboi: **Linhardt MUST get up now and be on time for the lecture

**urlocalshortboi: **lmaoooo he told me to fuck off 

**edel_gard: **don't you just love friendship

**i.am.ferdinand: **see you at the lecture, Linhardt… 

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea teases Ferdinand, Edelgard's suspicions are apparently confirmed, and someone joins the chat...

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 2:36pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **sooooo how was the lecture

**i.am.ferdinand: **Linhardt looked half dead

**let.me.sleep: **thx

**PetraMacneary:** Did you gain some new understandings?

**let.me.sleep: **yes

**let.me.sleep: **I learnt that desks make good headrests for sleeping on

**urlocalshortboi: **oh come on you already knew that

**let.me.sleep: **maybe so

**_bernie_:** um hey everybody I just wanted to share this

**_bernie_:** _[sent an image]_

**PrettyBitch: **omg

**edel_gard:** wow that’s a lovely painting!!

**urlocalshortboi: **whoa

**PetraMacneary:** You have much talent Bernadetta!

**_bernie_: **wowww thanks for being so nice everyone 

**PrettyBitch: **it’s the least we could do bernie! ur super talented

**edel_gard:** is it for an assignment?

**_bernie_: **yes it’s my projectt thisterm

**PrettyBitch: **I’d give that top marks for sure bernie 

**_bernie_: **ahhhh thankyou

**PrettyBitch: **oh and totally unrelated but r we still on for that study sesh at 3?

**edel_gard:** yes I believe so

**PrettyBitch: **alright so do u want me to get u guys drinks from the cafe?

**let.me.sleep: **yes I need caffeine 

**urlocalshortboi: **yeah I’m down for a drink 

**urlocalshortboi: **wait which cafe? 

**PrettyBitch: **Cethleann’s Brew

**urlocalshortboi: **oh hell yeah I love their coffees

**PrettyBitch: **k so everyone give me ur orders if u want something

**let.me.sleep: **the strongest coffee they have 

**urlocalshortboi: **mocha pls

**_bernie_: **a hot chocolate wouldbeniceplease thankyou

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’ll have a chamomile tea 

**PetraMacneary: **A cappuccino would be wonderful!

**edel_gard:** latte please

**PrettyBitch:** cool I’ll be back with drinks soon!

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand_ ** ** to ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **@ 2:39pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **and an americano please

**i.am.ferdinand: **for my friend 

**i.am.ferdinand: **I invited him to study with us

**PrettyBitch: **friend as in ‘friend’?

**PrettyBitch: **and ‘friend’ being that ‘guest’?

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes

**PrettyBitch:** we get to meet him??!?!?

**i.am.ferdinand: **...yes

**PrettyBitch:** so soon??!?!!!!?

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes and if you mess this up our friendship is over

**PrettyBitch:** omg ferdie don’t u trust me

**i.am.ferdinand: **honestly no

**PrettyBitch:** wow I’m offended

**i.am.ferdinand: **just

**i.am.ferdinand: **don’t go asking a load of questions like you always do

**PrettyBitch:** ferdie! I have absolutely no idea what that means

**i.am.ferdinand: **it means I know you can’t keep your pointy-ass nose out of other people’s business 

**PrettyBitch:** FERDIE HOW DARE U

**PrettyBitch:** MY NOSE IS NOT POINTY

**i.am.ferdinand: **:)

**PrettyBitch:** alright bye I’m getting the drinks 

**i.am.ferdinand:** don’t forget the americano

**PrettyBitch:** how could I when it’s for little ferdie’s boyyyyyfriendddd

**i.am.ferdinand:** he isn’t my boyfriend.

**PrettyBitch:** …yet?

**i.am.ferdinand:** …

**i.am.ferdinand:** yet

**PrettyBitch:** :)

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 2:56pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **ok just hauled the drinks back to my car

**PrettyBitch: **it’s a miracle I didn’t drop any of them even with those tray thingies they gave me

**urlocalshortboi: **noice

**edel_gard: **Bernie and I are ready and waiting in our common room 

**PetraMacneary: **Could you be reminding me of your dorm room number? 

**edel_gard: **oh of course!

**edel_gard: **we’re number 72 

**PetraMacneary: **You have my thanks! I am leaving my dorm now.

**urlocalshortboi: **I just gotta pack up my stuff then I’ll be over

**i.am.ferdinand: **ah 

**i.am.ferdinand:** Linhardt is asleep

**i.am.ferdinand: ** _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: **ahaha typical

**i.am.ferdinand: **should I leave him or wake him up?

**urlocalshortboi:** idk he looks pretty exhausted

**i.am.ferdinand: **I feel like he wouldn’t appreciate me waking him up

**urlocalshortboi: **I’ll come over and wake him up if u want 

**i.am.ferdinand:** uh sure

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 2:58pm -**

**edel_gard: **alright so Petra just arrived! 

**edel_gard: **that’s 3/7 

**i.am.ferdinand: **make that 3/8

**edel_gard: **?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’ve invited a friend to come study with us

**i.am.ferdinand:** if you don’t mind 

**edel_gard: **oh!

**edel_gard: **no that’s cool

**\- ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **to ** ** _i.am.ferdinand_ ** ** @ 2:59pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **ferdie that was smooth as fuck

**i.am.ferdinand: **what

**PrettyBitch: ‘**make that 3/8’

**i.am.ferdinand: **oh

**i.am.ferdinand: **thanks?

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 3:01pm -**

**urlocalshortboi:** _[sent an image]_

**urlocalshortboi:** _[sent an image]_

**urlocalshortboi:** _[sent a video]_

** _[Video Starts:]_ **

_ (Linhardt is asleep on the sofa.) _

_ Caspar (laughing): I can’t wake him up… _

_ (The camera zooms in on Linhardt as he snores.) _

_ Caspar (quietly): Aw. _

** _[Video Ends]_ **

**\- ** ** _edel_gard _ ** **to ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **@ 3:05pm -**

** **

**edel_gard: **I’m getting vibes

** **

**PrettyBitch: **ooh 

** **

**PrettyBitch: **wait what are we referring to

** **

**edel_gard: **the groupchat!

** **

**edel_gard: **Caspar!!!

** **

**PrettyBitch: **ok spill

** **

**PrettyBitch: **what r the vibes tellin u

** **

**edel_gard: **gay

** **

**PrettyBitch:** ohhhhhh 

** **

**PrettyBitch:** shit u right

** **

**edel_gard: **aren't I always

** **

**PrettyBitch:** damn how didn’t I see that

** **

**edel_gard: **well to be honest I wasn’t sure until just now 

** **

**edel_gard: **that video confirmed it

** **

**edel_gard: **well not entirely, but at least 95%

** **

**edel_gard: **the little “aw” at the end 

** **

**PrettyBitch: **omg yeah

** **

**PrettyBitch: **wow edie ur gaydar is on point today

** **

**edel_gard: **must you call it that?

** **

**PrettyBitch: **well what would u call it 

** **

**edel_gard: **intuition

** **

**PrettyBitch: **boo that’s too complicated

** **

**edel_gard: **it’s really not 

** **PrettyBitch: ** **gaydar it is!

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 3:07pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **on my way 

**urlocalshortboi: **I’ll be late sorry guys

**urlocalshortboi: **it’s gonna take a while to wake Lin up

**edel_gard: **you can just come by yourself Caspar

** **urlocalshortboi: ** **no it’s ok

**\- ** ** _edel_gard _ ** **to ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **@ 3:08pm -**

**edel_gard: **suspicions confirmed

**edel_gard: **100%

**PrettyBitch: **omg I totally see it now

**PrettyBitch: **he doesn’t wanna leave him!

**edel_gard:** I know! It’s rather sweet

**PrettyBitch: **should I ask

**edel_gard: **NO!!!!

**edel_gard: **he probably doesn’t know himself!

**PrettyBitch: **what?

**PrettyBitch: **how could he not know???

**edel_gard: **Dorothea.

**edel_gard: **as a lesbian and a psychology student I am very qualified on the matter

**edel_gard: **so DONT SAY ANYTHING TO HIM

**PrettyBitch: **alright alright 

**PrettyBitch: **I just can’t understand how he’s so oblivious 

**edel_gard: **we literally just put it together…

**edel_gard: **it’s not like we’ve been any less oblivious than him

**PrettyBitch: **I guess

**PrettyBitch:** anyway imma actually get out my car now

**PrettyBitch: **so see ya in a min

** **edel_gard: ** **don’t drop the drinks!

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 3:13pm -**

**PrettyBitch:** we’re all waiting for u caspar

**edel_gard: **your drink will get cold! 

**PrettyBitch: **and linhardt’s!

**urlocalshortboi: **sorry he just woke up

**urlocalshortboi: **we’ll be over in a minute

** **edel_gard: ** **alright see you soon!

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 6:39pm -**

**urlocalshortboi: **thanks for hosting the studying guys!

**urlocalshortboi: **I actually got some work done for once

**let.me.sleep: **and I wasn’t asleep for once

**edel_gard: **no problem for hosting! ‘twas a pleasure to have you all

**edel_gard:** oh and Ferdinand!!!

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’m here

**edel_gard: **I still can't believe you know Hubert!!

**edel_gard:** I didn’t even know he was at this uni! He hasn’t said a word to me

**i.am.ferdinand: **from what he’s said to me I don’t think he knew you were here either! 

**i.am.ferdinand: **if he did know then I’m sure he would’ve come and found you to talk

**edel_gard: **ah ok

**edel_gard: **though I don’t blame him if he doesn’t want to reconnect either

**edel_gard: **knowing me since we were toddlers means he could probably use a break from me…

** **i.am.ferdinand: ** **nonsense! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind talking again

**\- ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **to** ** _ i.am.ferdinand _ ** **@ 6:42pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **hey

**PrettyBitch: **hey ferdie

**PrettyBitch: **I’m still trying to wrap my head around it

**PrettyBitch: **like omg

**PrettyBitch: **ur man

**PrettyBitch: **~Hubert~ 

**PrettyBitch:** is OLDER

**PrettyBitch: **AND FUCKING HOT TOO??!??!

**i.am.ferdinand: **first of all he’s NOT ‘my man’

**i.am.ferdinand: **second, please don’t talk about him like that. it’s weird.

**PrettyBitch: **fineeee

**PrettyBitch:** OMG ACTUALLY

**PrettyBitch: **I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA

**i.am.ferdinand: **oh no

**PrettyBitch: **U SHOULD ADD HUBERT TO THE GROUPCHAT

** **i.am.ferdinand: ** **bad idea

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 6:44pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **hey what if ferdie added him to the chat

**edel_gard: **well I wouldn’t mind talking to him again 

**edel_gard: **so sure why not 

**_bernie_: **more….people..inthegroupchat.??

** **urlocalshortboi:** **the more the merrier, right?

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **to** ** _ PrettyBitch _ ** **@ 6:45pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **why do you do this to me

**i.am.ferdinand: **I thought we were friends

**PrettyBitch:** :)

**i.am.ferdinand: **>:(

**PrettyBitch: **just add himmmm

**i.am.ferdinand: **:P

**PrettyBitch: **nothing bad will happen ferdie!

**i.am.ferdinand: **promise?

** **PrettyBitch: ** **promise.

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **to** ** _ dontevenlookatme _ ** **@ 6:47pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **hey do you mind if I add you to the groupchat? it’s with all the people we studied with today 

**dontevenlookatme: **I suppose so.

**dontevenlookatme: **Though… is it an annoying chat?

**i.am.ferdinand: **welllllll 

**i.am.ferdinand: **it can be sometimes

**i.am.ferdinand: **it’s not all the time though

**dontevenlookatme: **If you’re present then it’ll be tolerable I’m sure.

** **i.am.ferdinand: ** **you’ll make it equally more bearable for me Hubert :)

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 6:48pm -**

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand_ ** ** added ** ** _dontevenlookatme_ ** ** to ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** -**

**PrettyBitch: **well if it isn’t hubert! 

**PrettyBitch: **everyone say hiiii

**urlocalshortboi: **hi

**let.me.sleep:** hi

**edel_gard: **hey

**PetraMacneary: **Hello!

**_bernie_: **hi

**dontevenlookatme: **Oddly formal.

**PrettyBitch: **we like to do things properly round here

**let.me.sleep:** lies

**let.me.sleep: **this chat is full of animals

**PrettyBitch: **honestly yeah

**edel_gard: **well SOME people here are animals

**let.me.sleep: **no no

**let.me.sleep: **we all are

**let.me.sleep:** though not all of us are the savage kind

**PrettyBitch: **omg what animal am I

**i.am.ferdinand: **pig

**urlocalshortboi: **AKDSJKXZKKDLSLJIUFHIOADK

**PrettyBitch: **NOT FUNNY FERDIE

**edel_gard: **I mean...

**dontevenlookatme:** Amusing.

**PrettyBitch:** ok but actually

**PrettyBitch: **what animal would I be

**PetraMacneary: **A deer?

**PrettyBitch: **ooh yes I love it!

**PrettyBitch:** a ~majestic~ deer

**PrettyBitch: **and petra

**PrettyBitch: **hm

**PrettyBitch: **a tawny owl 

**PetraMacneary: **Thank you Dorothea! I love my animal too.

**urlocalshortboi: **Lin is a sloth

**edel_gard: **oh for sure

**let.me.sleep: **Caspar is a honey badger

**let.me.sleep: **harmless-looking yet aggressive

**i.am.ferdinand: **Hubert is a wolf

**PrettyBitch: **because?

**i.am.ferdinand: **lone and mysterious

**PrettyBitch:** the dark and brooding type huh

**dontevenlookatme: **I must admit that’s accurate.

**PrettyBitch: **hm what about edie

**edel_gard: **something nice preferably

**urlocalshortboi: **it’s gotta be an eagle

**PrettyBitch:** ooh yeah

**_bernie_: **mmaybe my animalisarabbit..?

**edel_gard: **yes I think that suits you Bernie

**dontevenlookatme: **And Ferdinand is surely a horse.

**i.am.ferdinand: **really?

**dontevenlookatme: **Or a pony if you would prefer.

**PrettyBitch:** LMAOOOOOOOO

**i.am.ferdinand: **thanks Dorothea

**i.am.ferdinand:** it wasn’t that funny

**edel_gard: **yes but you should know by now that Hubert’s sass makes everything doubly as funny

**urlocalshortboi:** SHIT THE CUPCAKES HAVE BEEN IN THE OVEN TOO LONG

**PrettyBitch: **u what now

**edel_gard:** since when does Caspar bake??

**let.me.sleep: **oh he’s been buying cake mixes and baking them at my request

**PrettyBitch:** hm

**let.me.sleep: **though I can confirm that the cupcakes are burnt

**let.me.sleep: **so perhaps I’ll be skipping this batch

**urlocalshortboi:** _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: **they look decent right guys

**let.me.sleep: **stop asking the chat for validation, they’re burnt and I’m not eating them

**urlocalshortboi:** _[sent a video]_

** _[Video Starts:]_ **

_ Caspar: They’re perfectly fine! _

_ Linhardt (in the background): No they’re not! _

_ Caspar: Alright, look… _

_ (Caspar switches the camera around to show the cupcakes. He takes one out the tray and peels the case off.) _

_ Caspar: It’s only the top part of the cupcakes that are burnt! See? _

_ Linhardt: I still refuse to eat them! _

_ (The camera switches back to show Caspar.) _

_ Caspar: Your loss! _

_ (He takes a bite out the side of the cupcake.) _

_ Caspar: Delicious. _

_ (Linhardt pops up behind Caspar and leans toward the camera over his shoulder.) _

_ Linhardt: BURNT. _

** _[Video Ends]_ **

**urlocalshortboi: **you guys should all come round and try these DELICIOUS cupcakes 

**edel_gard: **well I am kinda hungry

**PrettyBitch: **I’m down for some shitty cupcakes

**urlocalshortboi: **hey!

**let.me.sleep: **HA.

**PrettyBitch: **what’s ur dorm number then caspar

**urlocalshortboi: **uhhhhhh

**let.me.sleep: **106

**PetraMacneary: **I have a great liking for cupcakes! I will certainly try one.

**_bernie_: **I like to bake sometimes…

**_bernie_: **maybe I’ll ggiveyou some tips…?

**let.me.sleep: **he needs all the help he can get

**let.me.sleep:** oof he threw a pillow at me

**dontevenlookatme: **I like to think I’m a good critic. I’ll be there.

**I.am.ferdinand: **me too

**urlocalshortboi:** thanks guys

**urlocalshortboi: **you can help me prove that they’re NOT BAD

**let.me.sleep:** good luck with that

** **urlocalshortboi: ** **alright I just hit him with several pillows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot to say last time that you can follow me on tumblr @fictrashdotcom for updates!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cupcakes are rated, Halloween is discussed, and Hubert Spills The Tea™.

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 10:01pm -**

**urlocalshortboi: **hey I never got a formal review on those cupcakes

**PrettyBitch: **what else do we need to tell u other than what we already did?

**PrettyBitch:** surely “eh” was enough

**urlocalshortboi: **idk maybe like…

**urlocalshortboi: **a one word review and a star rating?

**urlocalshortboi: **is that too much to ask?

**edel_gard:** I’ll go first.

**edel_gard: **questionable. 3/5

**PetraMacneary:** Good! 4/5

**PrettyBitch:** still eh. 2/5

**urlocalshortboi: **that’s not one word

**PrettyBitch: **ik. fuck u.

**i.am.ferdinand:** ahem

**i.am.ferdinand:** decent. 3/5

**let.me.sleep: **BURNT. 0/5

**_bernie_:** alrightt! 4/5

**dontevenlookatme:** Dubious. 3/5

**urlocalshortboi: **well

**urlocalshortboi: **that didn’t exactly boost my self esteem much

**PrettyBitch: **good.

**urlocalshortboi: **yo wtf

**edel_gard: **yeah Dorothea what’s up??

**i.am.ferdinand:** she’s in a bad mood clearly

**PrettyBitch: **ugh why u gotta read me so well

**PrettyBitch: **yes I’m in a shitty mood 

**urlocalshortboi: **because…?

**PrettyBitch:** no

**let.me.sleep: **ha

**dontevenlookatme: **I dare say I know why.

**i.am.ferdinand: **gasp

**PrettyBitch: **I may have only known u for day but I won’t hesistate to fucking punch u 

**edel_gard: **Dorothea I don’t think Hubert is the person you want to be threatening…

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand_ ** ** to ** ** _dontevenlookatme _ ** **@ 10:13pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: **are you going to spill the tea

**dontevenlookatme: **You know how much I hate that phrase.

**i.am.ferdinand: **it’s almost like that’s why I said it…

**dontevenlookatme: **...

**i.am.ferdinand: **but really, are you?

**dontevenlookatme: **Perhaps.

**dontevenlookatme: **It depends on whether or not that was an empty threat.

**i.am.ferdinand: **Dorothea may be able to beat other people up but I promise she won’t be able to lay a finger on you

**dontevenlookatme: **You’re sure of that?

**i.am.ferdinand: **of course

**dontevenlookatme: **And you’re ensuring my safety?

**i.am.ferdinand: **always

**dontevenlookatme: **Alright then.

**i.am.ferdinand: **but wait

**i.am.ferdinand: **tell me first?

**dontevenlookatme: **Well.

**dontevenlookatme: **I saw her outside after we had been to Caspar’s.

**dontevenlookatme:** She had just gone and bought a cake from the campus cafe.

**dontevenlookatme: **And, essentially, I witnessed her trip over.

**dontevenlookatme: **The cake broke her fall.

**i.am.ferdinand: **oh my god

**dontevenlookatme: ** _ [sent an image] _

**i.am.ferdinand: **OH MY GOD

**i.am.ferdinand: **Hubert please tell me you’re going to send that picture to the groupchat 

**dontevenlookatme: **Well… should I?

**i.am.ferdinand: **you definitely should

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 10:20pm -**

**dontevenlookatme: **Ahem.

**dontevenlookatme: ** _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: **AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**PrettyBitch: **HUBERT I WARNED U

**PetraMacneary: **What happened? That is Dorothea on the floor, yes?

**dontevenlookatme: **She fell.

**dontevenlookatme: **Straight onto her newly bought cupcake.

**PrettyBitch: **WHY DID U HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT

**dontevenlookatme: **I simply felt it necessary.

**let.me.sleep: **newly bought cupcake you say?

**dontevenlookatme: **Indeed.

**let.me.sleep: **Caspar…

**urlocalshortboi: **what

**let.me.sleep: **Dorothea went and bought a cupcake after leaving your place…

**urlocalshortboi: **???

**dontevenlookatme: **Do you wish for me to explain?

**let.me.sleep: **no no

**let.me.sleep: **just give him a minute.

**urlocalshortboi: **hey I’m not stupid

**urlocalshortboi: **I just don’t get what ur trying to say

**let.me.sleep: **she bought a cupcake

**urlocalshortboi: **so?

**let.me.sleep: **after everyone came over to try your cupcakes

**urlocalshortboi:** hm 

**urlocalshortboi: **wait

**urlocalshortboi: **I don’t 

**urlocalshortboi: **oh

**urlocalshortboi: **OH

**edel_gard:** oh dear

**urlocalshortboi: **DOROTHEA!

**urlocalshortboi: **MY CUPCAKES WEREN’T THAT BAD!!!!!!

**PrettyBitch: **caspar 

**PrettyBitch: **no offence but full offence those cupcakes were a tragedy

**PrettyBitch: **I desperately needed a better cupcake 

**dontevenlookatme: **And thus, she bought a new one, then promptly fell on the floor and squashed it with her face.

**PrettyBitch:** HEY

**PrettyBitch:** I just KNOW ur laughing at me right now 

**i.am.ferdinand: **he definitely is

**dontevenlookatme: **You know me too well.

**_bernie_: **thatt really sucks I’mso sorrry!! !

**PrettyBitch: **thank u for the sympathy bernie 

**PrettyBitch: **I’m still finding bits of frosting in my eyebrows...

**urlocalshortboi:** HA

**urlocalshortboi: **but I’m still offended 

**let.me.sleep:** my tastebuds are offended by your cupcakes

**let.me.sleep: **I don’t blame Dorothea for wanting to get a better one afterwards

**PetraMacneary:** I am sorry that this is not in relation to the current conversation but I am needing your opinions.

**PrettyBitch: **go ahead. I think we’re done with mocking me now

**let.me.sleep:** maybe we’re done with you, but I’m not done mocking Caspar

**PrettyBitch: **u can save that for another time

**urlocalshortboi: **pls no Lin

**PetraMacneary:** Ok so I am having a question.

**PetraMacneary:** Is it being too early for buying a Halloween costume?

**PrettyBitch: **of course not! 

**PrettyBitch:** it’s only a couple of weeks away

**PetraMacneary:** Good! Because I have found a wonderful costume online.

**_bernie_: **ooh what ccostume?

**PetraMacneary:** _[sent an image]_

**urlocalshortboi: **awesome!! superhero costumes are the BEST

**let.me.sleep:** totally not biased because you were a superhero last year…

**urlocalshortboi: **superheroes are objectively the best

**let.me.sleep:** I disagree

**PrettyBitch: **omg wait guys

**PrettyBitch: **hubert has no idea about our party!

**dontevenlookatme: **A Halloween party, I presume?

**PrettyBitch: **yep it’s our annual spooky party

**i.am.ferdinand: **Halloween party

**PrettyBitch: **spooky party

**i.am.ferdinand: **Halloween party

**PrettyBitch: **spooky party

**i.am.ferdinand: **Halloween party

**PrettyBitch: **spooky party

**i.am.ferdinand: **Halloween party

**PrettyBitch: **spooky party

**edel_gard:** OK SO

**edel_gard:** Hubert

**edel_gard:** if you wish to attend our super exclusive amazing party 

**edel_gard:** then you must have a costume

**dontevenlookatme: **I’m sure I can manage that.

**PrettyBitch: **ok but u gotta go ALL OUT

**let.me.sleep:** we like to be idiots on Halloween

**PrettyBitch: **STYLISH idiots

**dontevenlookatme: **Challenge accepted.

**i.am.ferdinand: **you’re always stylish, Hubert

**edel_gard:** just the idiot part to go then

**\- ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **to ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **@ 10:36pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **if u keep flirting with hubert like that in the groupchat then ur secrets gonna be out…

**PrettyBitch:** just a friendly bit of advice for u there!

**i.am.ferdinand: **well that was ominous 

**i.am.ferdinand:** and that was NOT flirting!

**PrettyBitch:** it so obviously was

**i.am.ferdinand:** anyway I don’t think I mind about people finding out anymore

**PrettyBitch:** oh well that’s good!!

**i.am.ferdinand:** yeah but like

**i.am.ferdinand:** I have an issue first

**PrettyBitch:** do u need some of Dorothea’s magical dating advice

**i.am.ferdinand:** kinda

**PrettyBitch:** yesssss

**PrettyBitch:** it’s been ages since I’ve been able to work my magic

**i.am.ferdinand:** as if you’ve ever actually helped anyone

**PrettyBitch:** hey I’ve helped at least one person

**PrettyBitch:** what’s the issue then

**i.am.ferdinand:** well

**i.am.ferdinand:** I’ve been seeing him for a while now

**i.am.ferdinand:** but it’s not technically official

**i.am.ferdinand:** and I really really like him

**PrettyBitch:** aw ferdie

**i.am.ferdinand:** so I want to ask him out properly

**PrettyBitch:** as a boyfriend

**i.am.ferdinand:** exactly

**i.am.ferdinand:** but I’m just struggling on the… actually doing it part

**PrettyBitch:** well where do u talk to him most

**PrettyBitch:** text or in person

**PrettyBitch:** because based on the little knowledge I have of him, I think it’d be best to ask him face-to-face

**i.am.ferdinand:** we definitely talk more in person

**i.am.ferdinand:** but that’s why I’m struggling

**i.am.ferdinand:** it’s so much more difficult when I’m standing right in front of him

**PrettyBitch:** hm

**i.am.ferdinand:** I tried to ask him the other day but I couldn’t find the right words

**PrettyBitch:** well

**PrettyBitch:** how about u tell him exactly what u told me

**PrettyBitch:** that ur super into him and wanna make it official

**i.am.ferdinand:** you make it sound so easy...

**PrettyBitch:** and if u really can’t do it then do it by text

**i.am.ferdinand:** yeah I guess that would be simpler

**PrettyBitch:** but

**PrettyBitch:** I think he’d appreciate it if u did it in person

**PrettyBitch:** and it’ll be super super good for ur confidence if u manage to ask him irl

**i.am.ferdinand:** wow

**i.am.ferdinand:** wise words

**PrettyBitch:** I know

**i.am.ferdinand:** and so humble

**PrettyBitch:** I know

**i.am.ferdinand:** ok but really

**i.am.ferdinand:** thank you

**PrettyBitch:** :)

**i.am.ferdinand:** goodnight

**PrettyBitch:** night

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 11:49am -**

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent an image] _

**let.me.sleep:** NO CASPAR

**let.me.sleep: **you are NOT wearing a CREEPER COSTUME to the party

**edel_gard:** dear god

**_bernie_:** afdsgjhkgsdsfghj

**PrettyBitch: **that costume is the definition of cursed

**urlocalshortboi: **ok but if that's not ‘all out’ idk what is

**PrettyBitch: **I mean true but… still cursed

**urlocalshortboi: **I’m really stuck on ideas

**urlocalshortboi:** my superhero costume last year is difficult to top

**let.me.sleep: **it wasn’t THAT good Caspar

**edel_gard: **I’ve found this one for myself

**edel_gard: ** _ [sent an image] _

**edel_gard: **I know literally everyone has been a witch for Halloween before but this costume is so nice

**PrettyBitch: **oooooh that’s super nice

**PrettyBitch: **witch costumes are a classic for a reason anyways. u can’t go wrong with them 

**edel_gard: **true

**PetraMacneary: **I am liking the red and black on that costume!

**edel_gard: **yeah that’s why it stood out to me

**edel_gard: **I’m gonna buy it

**urlocalshortboi:** omgomgomg

**urlocalshortboi: **Lin should be sleeping beauty

**let.me.sleep: **how original and hilarious

**PrettyBitch: **actually tho

**edel_gard: **even better:

**edel_gard: **Linhardt as sleeping beauty and Caspar as the prince

**urlocalshortboi: **hey that’s a good idea

**let.me.sleep: **y does that sound like a couple costume

**PrettyBitch: **cos it is lol

**edel_gard: **friends can do couple costumes too! it’s totally a thing

**PrettyBitch: **totally totally

**let.me.sleep:** ...

**urlocalshortboi: **I’ll do it if I can find a cool prince costume

**PrettyBitch: **ooh found a costume for moi

**PrettyBitch: ** _ [sent an image] _

**edel_gard: **ooh corpse bride

**PetraMacneary: **What is a corpse bride?

**PrettyBitch:** like a bride but dead

**edel_gard: **zombie-ish

**PetraMacneary: **Oh, I have understanding now.

**PrettyBitch: **ooh bernie I just thought of the best costume for u

**_bernie_: **wwhat

**PrettyBitch: **a ghost!

**_bernie_: **um m ok

**PrettyBitch: **I feel like it fits ur timid aesthetic

**_bernie_: **my what?? ?

**PrettyBitch: **nevermind

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent an image] _

**urlocalshortboi: **definitely sleeping beauty

**PrettyBitch: **ajklczlcljfgojxzdth

**urlocalshortboi: **?

**PrettyBitch: **nothing

**PrettyBitch:** ignore that

**\- ** ** _PrettyBitch _ ** **to** ** _ edel_gard _ ** **@ 11:58am -**

**PrettyBitch: **DEFINITELY SLEEPING BEAUTY

**PrettyBitch: **ur gaydar is so good wtf

**edel_gard: **it isn’t and won’t ever be called ‘gaydar’

**PrettyBitch:** it is and will forever be called gaydar

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 12:01pm -**

**PetraMacneary:** I have confusion. Why did you send us a photo of Linhardt sleeping on a bench?

**urlocalshortboi:** A) to prove that he should be sleeping beauty for Halloween

**urlocalshortboi:** B) because we’re at the park and he seriously just fell asleep on the bench

**edel_gard: ** wow

**edel_gard: ** I’m still amazed at his ability to sleep anywhere

**edel_gard: ** that takes skill

**urlocalshortboi: ** yeah ikr

**urlocalshortboi: ** sleep is Lin’s superpower

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **to** ** _ PrettyBitch _ ** **@ 2:24pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand: ** I’ve psyched myself up to do it today

**PrettyBitch: ** hubert?

**i.am.ferdinand:** yes

**i.am.ferdinand:** and specifically in ten minutes

**i.am.ferdinand:** I’m meeting up with him in town

**PrettyBitch: ** omg ok

**PrettyBitch: ** speed pep talk time

**PrettyBitch: ** u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this u got this 

**i.am.ferdinand:** ahhhhhhhhh thanks

**i.am.ferdinand:** I’m leaving in a second

**PrettyBitch: ** text me later I expect to hear all about it!!

**i.am.ferdinand:** of course I will

**PrettyBitch: ** I’m so proudddd of u ferdieeee

**i.am.ferdinand:** ah ok I’m going

**i.am.ferdinand:** thank you so much

**PrettyBitch: ** u got thissssssssss 

**i.am.ferdinand:** bye!!!!!

**PrettyBitch: ** byeeeeeee

**\- ** ** _i.am.ferdinand _ ** **to** ** _ PrettyBitch _ ** **@ 7:37pm -**

**i.am.ferdinand:** so

**i.am.ferdinand: ** Hubert and I are officially dating

**PrettyBitch: ** YAY!!!!!!!! 

**i.am.ferdinand: ** thank you for being my number one fan and pep talker

**PrettyBitch: ** anytime

**i.am.ferdinand: ** and I’m sure you’ll also be thrilled to know that he’s convinced me to do a couples costume with him for the party

**PrettyBitch: ** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**PrettyBitch: ** ur right I AM thrilled to hear that

**i.am.ferdinand: **ok newsflash over

**i.am.ferdinand: ** I need to sleep

**PrettyBitch: ** sleep??

**PrettyBitch: ** at half seven????

**i.am.ferdinand: ** I may or may not have stayed up til 3 am worrying about it

**PrettyBitch: ** aw ferdie you’ve done it now tho!!!

**PrettyBitch: ** I’m so proud

**i.am.ferdinand: ** and I’m so tired

**PrettyBitch: ** oh ferdie

**PrettyBitch: ** rest up

**i.am.ferdinand: ** night

**PrettyBitch: ** sleep well knowing u have an official boyfriend now

**i.am.ferdinand: ** NIGHT

**i.am.ferdinand: ** but yes

**i.am.ferdinand: ** that is a nice thought

**PrettyBitch: ** lmao

**PrettyBitch: ** night

**i.am.ferdinand: ** night


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More spookiness is discussed, idiocy is ranked, and Dorothea just wants to vibe.

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 1:24pm -**

**PrettyBitch: **spooky party real soonnnnnnnn

**i.am.ferdinand: **you mean Halloween party

**PrettyBitch: **spooky partay

**i.am.ferdinand: **dear god that’s worse

**PrettyBitch: **SPOOKY PARTAYYYYYY

**let.me.sleep:** Dorothea pls don’t

**let.me.sleep:** Caspar will start saying it too

**i.am.ferdinand: **Linhardt you fool

**i.am.ferdinand:** you’ve just put the idea out there in the chat for all to see

**let.me.sleep:** ah

**let.me.sleep:** I didn’t think that through

**PrettyBitch: ** _ @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi _

**let.me.sleep:** NO NO NO

**let.me.sleep:** HAVE MERCY

**urlocalshortboi: **hey why’d you @ me

**let.me.sleep:** NOTHING

**PrettyBitch: **read the chat

**urlocalshortboi: **hm

**let.me.sleep:** Dorothea why 

**urlocalshortboi: **ooooooooh

**urlocalshortboi: **spooky partay?

**PrettyBitch: **SPOOKY PARTAY

**urlocalshortboi: **SPOOKY PARTAY!

**PrettyBitch: **SPOOKY PARTAYYYYY

**urlocalshortboi: **S P O O K Y PARTAY

**PrettyBitch: **SpOoKy PaRtAy

**i.am.ferdinand:** this is going to be my cause of death

**let.me.sleep:** same

**dontevenlookatme:** What are you absolute heathens doing?

**PrettyBitch: **ITS NEARLY TIME FOR OUR SPOOKY PARTAY

**edel_gard:** I see you’re full of chaotic energy as usual

**PrettyBitch: **me or caspar

**edel_gard:** both

**let.me.sleep:** true

**PrettyBitch: **ok but ARENT U EXCITED?

**urlocalshortboi: **I’m SO excited

**edel_gard:** I mean yeah

**edel_gard:** mostly because my costume arrived the other day

**PrettyBitch: **hubertttt r u excited for the SPOOKY PARTAY?

**let.me.sleep:** that message is painful to look at

**dontevenlookatme:** I am… mildly excited, I suppose.

**i.am.ferdinand:** you’ll be more excited once we get our costumes, right?

**dontevenlookatme:** Oh, yes. I will be.

**dontevenlookatme:** Speaking of, we need to go shopping for those.

**i.am.ferdinand:** we do

**PrettyBitch: **ooh do u know what ur gonna go as?

**dontevenlookatme:** I was thinking vampires.

**PrettyBitch: **yessss

**i.am.ferdinand:** Hubert can totally pull off the vampire look, but I’m not sure about myself

**dontevenlookatme:** I think you’ll look better than me, actually.

**urlocalshortboi: **wait wait

**urlocalshortboi: **you’re both going as vampires

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes

**edel_gard: **couples costume?

**dontevenlookatme:** Yes.

**dontevenlookatme:** As we are, indeed, a couple.

**let.me.sleep: **this is a recent development?

**edel_gard: **Hubert! I thought you said you didn’t have the capacity to love!

**urlocalshortboi: **ahahahahaha 

**dontevenlookatme:** Well.

**dontevenlookatme:** Perhaps consider, Edelgard, that I said that… five years ago? Maybe more? 

**edel_gard: **I suppose

**edel_gard: **anyway I’m happy for you!

**edel_gard: **now there’ll be two couple costumes at the party

**urlocalshortboi: **yeah but that’s different

**urlocalshortboi: **cos me and Lin are best buds

**edel_gard: **yes of course

**edel_gard: **I just mean it’s nice to have two sets of people matching!

**PrettyBitch:** I agree edie

**PrettyBitch: ** anyway 

**PrettyBitch: **my corpse bride costume came last week

**PrettyBitch: **that makes two of us who are ready for the spooky partay

**PrettyBitch: **anyone else?

**PetraMacneary:** I have bought my costume!

**urlocalshortboi: **did you go with the superhero one you showed us before?

**PetraMacneary:** Yes! That is the one I have bought.

**urlocalshortboi: **AWESOME! superheroes are the best

**let.me.sleep:** cough cough biased

**_bernie_: **I bbought a ghost costume like yousuggested…

**_bernie_: **I found a verypretty one! !

**_bernie_: **ithaslots of wispy fabric and stuff.. .

**PrettyBitch: **aw thanks for following my aesthetic advice bernie

**_bernie_: **your wwhat ?

**PrettyBitch: **I’m flattered

**urlocalshortboi: **haven’t bought them yet but I found a pretty sweet duo of prince costumes

**urlocalshortboi: ** _ [sent an image] _

**edel_gard: **ooh they’re nice!

**edel_gard: **I can help you make some adjustments to Linhardt’s one if you like 

**edel_gard: **so it has some elements from sleeping beauty

**urlocalshortboi: **yeah! when are you free?

**edel_gard: **let me check my schedule

**edel_gard: **ok is this Tuesday good for you?

**urlocalshortboi: **yep

**let.me.sleep:** shouldn’t I be involved in the adjusting of MY costume?

**urlocalshortboi: **you come too Lin!

**edel_gard: **is Tuesday ok for you too?

**let.me.sleep:** I mean I was planning to sleep in that day…

**urlocalshortboi: **come onnnnn Lin!

**let.me.sleep:** ugh

**let.me.sleep:** fine

**urlocalshortboi: **yay!

**urlocalshortboi: **we can go get pastries and stuff from the cafe too

**edel_gard: **ooh yes

**edel_gard: **we need the energy to keep us going whilst we work

**let.me.sleep:** I suppose I can’t argue if there’s pastries involved

**urlocalshortboi: **see you guys then!

**\- ** ** _Black Eagles Groupchat_ ** ** @ 9:45am -**

**let.me.sleep:** good morning citizens of idiotville

**PrettyBitch: **rude

**urlocalshortboi: **Lin when are you EVER up this early????

**let.me.sleep:** never

**urlocalshortboi: **so WHY ARE YOU UP NOW??!?!!?

**let.me.sleep:** just cos

**urlocalshortboi: **??????!?!?!?!?

**let.me.sleep:** don’t question it Caspar idk either

**urlocalshortboi: **?!!!!!?!!!!!!?!?!?

**let.me.sleep:** my body just woke up at a normal person time for once

**edel_gard: **omg

**edel_gard: **Linhardt you absolute genius

**let.me.sleep:** what

**edel_gard: **that name 

**let.me.sleep:** what

**\- ** ** _edel_gard _ ** **changed the name of this chat to** ** _ idiotville_ ** ** -**

**\- ** ** _idiotville_ ** ** @ 9:46am -**

**PrettyBitch: **did u just

**edel_gard: **I did

**PrettyBitch: **edie how dare u imply that we’re all idiots

**PrettyBitch: **I don’t deserve to be in the same category as these fools

**let.me.sleep:** Dorothea you have to admit 

**let.me.sleep:** we’re all idiots here

**PrettyBitch: **IM NOT!

**let.me.sleep:** it’s just that our levels of idiocy vary

**edel_gard: **exactly 

**let.me.sleep:** for example

**let.me.sleep:** Caspar is a solid 9/10 on the scale of idiocy

**let.me.sleep:** likely the biggest idiot in this chat

**urlocalshortboi: **HEY

**let.me.sleep:** I mean that in the nicest way possible

**urlocalshortboi: **I’m not an idiot!!!

**let.me.sleep:** yes you are

**urlocalshortboi: **I’m not!!!!!!!!

**let.me.sleep:** it isn’t necessarily a bad thing

**urlocalshortboi: **it’s bad and I’m not!!!!!

**let.me.sleep:** I’m rather fond of idiots

**urlocalshortboi: **oh

**urlocalshortboi: **well

**PrettyBitch: **hate to break up the moment but

**PrettyBitch: **I still disagree

**edel_gard: **Dorothea 

**edel_gard: **everyone here is an idiot

**edel_gard: **even myself

**PrettyBitch: **>:(

**edel_gard: **you and I are both low on the scale of course

**PrettyBitch: **:(

**let.me.sleep:** how about I give you all an official rating

**edel_gard: **alright then

**dontevenlookatme:** Surely it would be a biased rating?

**let.me.sleep:** well duh

**let.me.sleep:** but that’s the fun of it

**let.me.sleep:** I get to trash you all

**dontevenlookatme:** ...

**let.me.sleep:** I’m joking of course

**edel_gard: **wait let’s get everyone else here

**edel_gard: ** _ @PetraMacneary @_bernie_ @i.am.ferdinand _

**PetraMacneary:** I am here!

**_bernie_:** hhi

**i.am.ferdinand: **you called?

**edel_gard: **read back in the chat for context

**i.am.ferdinand: **hm

**let.me.sleep:** so 

**let.me.sleep:** at the lowest end of the scale

**let.me.sleep:** sitting at a respectable 2/10 

**let.me.sleep:** is Edelgard, Petra and Hubert

**let.me.sleep:** at 3/10 is Bernadetta

**let.me.sleep:** at 4/10 is Dorothea

**let.me.sleep:** at 6/10 is Ferdinand and myself 

**let.me.sleep:** and at the top of the scale

**let.me.sleep:** at 9/10

**let.me.sleep:** is Caspar

**edel_gard: **well then 

**PrettyBitch: **>:(

**PrettyBitch: **HOW AM I A FOUR

**let.me.sleep:** that’s relatively low on the scale 

**edel_gard: **Dorothea let’s be realistic about this

**edel_gard: **you solidified yourself as an idiot when you fell on that cake

**edel_gard: **so if I were you I would be thankful that your rating is a modest 4

**dontevenlookatme:** Indeed.

**dontevenlookatme:** My personal rating would have been much higher than a mere four...

**PrettyBitch: **WATCH IT HUBERT

**dontevenlookatme:** Oh dear, I am so deeply terrified by your threat.

**PrettyBitch: **IM FUCKING SERIOUS

**dontevenlookatme:** Wouldn’t it be such a shame if you were to fall like that again…

**PrettyBitch: **FERDINAND

**i.am.ferdinand: **hm?

**PrettyBitch: **CONTROL YOUR MAN

**i.am.ferdinand: **ah 

**i.am.ferdinand: **Hubert

**dontevenlookatme:** Yes, dear?

**PrettyBitch: **akshdjksxhzls

**i.am.ferdinand: **I believe it’s best if you stop that now

**dontevenlookatme:** Anything you say, my love.

**i.am.ferdinand: **and um

**i.am.ferdinand: **maybe cut down on the 

**dontevenlookatme:** The what, dearest?

**i.am.ferdinand: **the

**i.am.ferdinand: **the names 

**dontevenlookatme:** But why, my sweet?

**i.am.ferdinand: **I’m pretty sure I’m blushing right now and that’s not ideal

**dontevenlookatme:** Whyever not, love?

**i.am.ferdinand: **because I’m at work and you know it!

**let.me.sleep:** and here I was thinking PDA via groupchat wasn’t possible

**edel_gard: **aw

**edel_gard: **sweet

**PrettyBitch: **I agree with u edie but I’m still pissed

**PetraMacneary:** Holding a grudge is not good for you, Dorothea!

**_bernie_:** yyeah

**PetraMacneary:** It is best to be moving on!

**edel_gard: **wise words

**PrettyBitch: **hmph

**urlocalshortboi: **wait since when does Ferdinand have a job

**edel_gard: **I-

**urlocalshortboi: **oh that sounded rude didn’t it

**urlocalshortboi: **I mean

**urlocalshortboi: **Ferdinand you’ve never mentioned your job!

**edel_gard: **better 

**i.am.ferdinand: **yes I work at a restaurant off campus

**urlocalshortboi: **oh cool what restaurant 

**i.am.ferdinand: ** Molinaro’s Grill 

**dontevenlookatme:** Hm, how interesting.

**dontevenlookatme:** It appears I am very close to that place right now.

**i.am.ferdinand: **oh

**i.am.ferdinand: **are you now?

**i.am.ferdinand: ** _ [deleted 1 message] _

**dontevenlookatme:** Deleting the name does not stop me from remembering it, my love.

**dontevenlookatme:** Expect to see me there in ten minutes. 

**i.am.ferdinand: **ah

**PrettyBitch: **well it was nice knowing u ferdie

**PrettyBitch: **RIP

**i.am.ferdinand: **oh god

**PrettyBitch: **ur royally fucked

**i.am.ferdinand: **I am aren’t I

**edel_gard: **well good luck with that Ferdinand

**edel_gard: **I have a meeting now

**_bernie_:** mme too!

**PetraMacneary:** What are you having meeting for?

**edel_gard:** ah, it’s very exciting!

**edel_gard: **it’s our monthly Student Wellbeing Society meeting!

**PrettyBitch: **could u have made that ANY nerdier edie

**_bernie_:** you should ccomealong too Dorothea! !

**PrettyBitch: **I’ll pass thanks

**edel_gard: **oh come on, you’d like it!

**edel_gard: **the range of topics discussed is pretty wide

**edel_gard: **we talk about basically anything that could improve student wellbeing 

**edel_gard: **which means… 

**edel_gard: **spooky season discussions are allowed

**PrettyBitch: **omg no way

**PrettyBitch: **SPOOKY PARTAY

**edel_gard: **well maybe not a party

**edel_gard: **because there’s no way we’re inviting every student on campus to one party

**edel_gard: **but certainly some spooky festivities are allowed!

**PrettyBitch: **hm

**PrettyBitch: **perhaps I’ll come to the meeting 

**_bernie_:** yay!! !

**PrettyBitch: **JUST THIS ONCE!

**PrettyBitch: **cos it would be fun to do some decorating around campus

**edel_gard: **yes Dorothea!

**edel_gard: **that would certainly improve student wellbeing!

**PrettyBitch: **alright then where’s this meeting at

**_bernie_:** student area 3!

**PrettyBitch: **ugh that’s so far

**edel_gard: **come on you can do it

**PrettyBitch: **how long do I have to get there

**edel_gard: **2 minutes

**PrettyBitch: **ughhhhhhh

**edel_gard: **walk briskly

**PrettyBitch: **ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**\- ** ** _idiotville_ ** ** @ 11:12pm -**

**edel_gard: **Dorothea I’m trying to sleep

**_bernie_:** me too. .. 

**PetraMacneary:** What is Dorothea doing to prevent your rest?

**edel_gard: **she’s playing lofi hip hop study music through the common room speaker

**PrettyBitch: **I didn’t know it was a crime to vibe edie

**edel_gard: **it’s a crime at this ungodly hour 

**urlocalshortboi: **Lin vibes on a regular basis

**let.me.sleep:** I vibe whilst napping

**PrettyBitch: **wow that’s some impressive multitasking

**edel_gard: **please Dorothea just use headphones

**edel_gard: **I’m begging you

**PrettyBitch: **headphones KILL VIBES edie!!

**edel_gard: **please I have an exam first thing tomorrow

**_bernie_:** mmaybe turn it down just a bit..?

**PrettyBitch: **I’ll turn it down since u asked so nicely bernie

**urlocalshortboi:** wait Lin why are you up this late

**let.me.sleep:** why are YOU up this late

**urlocalshortboi:** I always am

**urlocalshortboi:** but you aren’t

**urlocalshortboi:** so tell me

**let.me.sleep:** ok well

**let.me.sleep:** I may or may not be cramming 

**urlocalshortboi:** LIN!

**let.me.sleep:** I know you don’t have to tell me it’s bad

**edel_gard: **Dorothea are you going to turn it down or not

**PrettyBitch: **ugh gimme a minute

**edel_gard: **no

**edel_gard: **turn it down or I turn it off

**PrettyBitch: **edie why do u have a vendetta against lofi

**edel_gard: **I don’t!

**edel_gard: **I have a vendetta against people who blast it at full volume in the common room whilst I’m trying to SLEEP

**PrettyBitch: **uh oh the caps lock 

**PrettyBitch: **this is serious now isn’t it

**edel_gard: **turn

**edel_gard: **it 

**edel_gard: **down

**PrettyBitch: **turning it down!! 

**PrettyBitch: **in fact I’m turning it off!

**edel_gard: **wise decision

**urlocalshortboi:** Lin you better sleep soon

**let.me.sleep:** I will I will

**urlocalshortboi:** it’s nearly midnight!

**let.me.sleep:** you say that as if you don’t stay up later than this practically every night

**urlocalshortboi:** I don’t!

**let.me.sleep:** you do

**urlocalshortboi:** sure maybe OCCASIONALLY

**let.me.sleep:** it’s more than occasionally

**urlocalshortboi:** ok well

**urlocalshortboi:** I’ll go to bed now too!

**PrettyBitch: **I’m vibing in silence now

**urlocalshortboi:** congrats?

**let.me.sleep:** alright Caspar go on then

**let.me.sleep:** sleep

**urlocalshortboi:** well I gotta get changed first!

**urlocalshortboi:** but then I’ll sleep

**let.me.sleep:** really?

**urlocalshortboi:** swear

**let.me.sleep:** good

**let.me.sleep:** now goodnight

**urlocalshortboi:** night :)

**let.me.sleep:** I’ll reciprocate the smiley if you stick to your promise

**urlocalshortboi:** I will!

**urlocalshortboi:** promise promise promise

**let.me.sleep:** you get it in the morning

**urlocalshortboi:** aw please

**urlocalshortboi:** you can’t leave me hanging like that

**let.me.sleep:** I can

**urlocalshortboi:** you definitely can’t

**urlocalshortboi:** come on I’ll type it again

**urlocalshortboi:** then you type yours

**urlocalshortboi:** got it?

**let.me.sleep:** f i n e

**urlocalshortboi:** night :)

**let.me.sleep:** :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u for reading!!! This is my first ever fic! Hopefully the characters aren't too ooc-feeling, but this is how I imagine them as modern uni students.
> 
> I write whenever I'm in the mood, so I can't say for sure how often this'll be updated. But hopefully the wait will be worth it between chapters, how ever long that may be. Thanks again!
> 
> [come yell at me on tumblr @fictrashdotcom ! I'm always down to chat about my black eagles babies]


End file.
